Recently, I made lunch plans with a woman whose son is the same age as mine.
We picked a restaurant with a large outdoor area the kids could play in without bugging other customers. Coincidentally, I had a PTA discount card that gives me 10 percent off food and drinks at the place.
Saving 10 percent for doing nothing other than pulling a card out of my wallet seemed like a no-brainer, except I was worried I would look cheap for busting out my savings card in front of a woman I barely knew.
Sticking to a budget and having a social life isn’t always easy, so I asked etiquette experts to weigh in on seven tricky money situations.
Is it OK to use a coupon on a date?
When a similar topic was discussed at Budgets Are Sexy, commenters were really divided, from people who thought it was off-putting to others who appreciated the idea of a budget-savvy date.
Kate Forest, a relationship counselor and coach at Master Matchmakers, says flat-out no to using a coupon. “Money, like religion and politics, is one of those topics best avoided when you are first getting to know someone, whether that’s a someone you might have a romantic relationship with or even a new friend,” Forest says. “You shouldn’t have to act like you don’t care about money, but neither should you act like you care too much.”
She says using a two-for-one blooming onion coupon will make you seem too money-focused. Keep the deal in your pocket until you’re out with a dear old friend who couldn’t care less whether you use it or not (and may in fact like a big plate of greasy, delicious, fried onion-ness, too!).
Dating on a budget? Forest suggests planning inexpensive outings like eating at a fun restaurant that won’t be too pricey (dim sum, anyone?), bringing coffee and taking your dogs to a dog park or touring a local winery where the tasting is free and then having lunch afterward. “I think the other person is more impressed by the thought and planning that goes into a date rather than the check at the end,” Forest says.
It’s date number two, and you’ve ordered too much. Can you ask for a doggie bag?
Nope, says Forest. “The biggest reason to not ask for a doggie bag is that you should have your hands free on a date. Even on an early date, there is opportunity for holding hands or lightly touching the other person,” which won’t happen if you’re toting a Styrofoam container around with you.
Vicky Oliver, author of The Millionaire’s Handbook, disagrees, saying she’s started taking leftover food from restaurants because she hates the idea of wasting so much. “It’s just so much better food than anything I could make at home, and the portions are ginormous!” Oliver says. She adds that as long as you’re polite to the waiter, cute about your request or make a joke with your companion like, “I wish I were a chef, but I’m definitely not,” there shouldn’t be an issue with it. “We need to get out of our shame and embarrassment. Frugal is in fashion, and it can be all in the way you try to make it fun.”
Both experts agree: You cannot take other people’s food home (which, bizarrely, happened to one of Forest’s clients on a first date.)
What if your co-workers eat out every Friday and start asking why you won’t join them?
Brown bagging it is cheaper, but outside-work excursions “are sometimes the glue that holds these relationships together,” Oliver explains.
Skipping after-work drinks or the weekly pizza lunch makes you seem as if “you’re not fun and not friendly.”
Go, says Oliver. “If it gets to be prohibitively expensive, maybe you can suggest a cheaper venue, but you don’t want to be standoffish.”
Consider it an investment in your career.
See the rest of the story at Business Insider
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