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If you're 65 years old, here's when you're going to die

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Life expectancy is an incredibly important variable to consider when you're planning for retirement.

You don't need to save more than you expect to live. But you also don't want to find yourself outliving your savings.

To help with that, JP Morgan Asset Management included this chart of life expectancy probabilities in its 2015 "Guide To Retirement."

life expectancy

SEE ALSO: Warren Buffett's 23 Best Quotes About Investing

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These microscopic sculptures were modeled on human models

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Jonty Hurwitz nanosculpture eye of needle

When we say a sculpture is impressive because of its scale, we're usually alluding to how big or tall it is.

But in the case of artist Jonty Hurwitz' nano-sculptures, the scale is impressive — mind-boggling, really — because of how tiny it is.

Hurwitz claims the sculptures are the smallest depiction of the human form, and that they've been seen "in one way or another, in the web sphere, by 20 or 30 million people so far."

The South African-born artist used more than 200 cameras in a warehouse in Sussex, England, to capture live models. The cameras all go off at the same time to provide data for reconstruction.



Technicians at Nanoscribe, a spin-off of the Karlsruhe Institute of Technology in Germany, recreated the models in a sterile lab. Light is focused on one point of a polymer to create "a tiny 3D pixel (called a Voxel)," Hurwitz writes on his website. "The sculpture is then moved along fractionally by a computer controlled process and the next pixel is created."



These voxels number in the "tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands" per sculpture, each voxel measuring between three and five hundred nanometers, Hurwitz told Business Insider. This tiny figure is still small enough to fit on a human hair.



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If you can only try one Austin restaurant during SXSW, make it the Salt Lick

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salt lick bbq pit

Texans pride themselves on the quality of their barbecue, and there are plenty of great places to grab some ribs and brisket all across the state. 

According to Scott Roberts, owner of Texas' famous Salt Lick BBQ restaurant, "The United States is the best damn country in the world, and Texas is the best damn state in the country – doesn’t that just logically mean that we would have the best damn barbecue?"

The Salt Lick has three locations in the Austin area: the original in Driftwood, another in Round Rock, and a newer stand at Austin-Bergstrom International Airport. The restaurants are regularly ranked among the best BBQ joints in the country. 

salt lick bbq When the first branch opened in 1967, it was just a limestone pit built into the Roberts' family land. Over the more than 50 years since then, they've built an entire restaurant around the original pit, adding indoor lighting, running water, and all of the other amenities necessary to a functional restaurant. 

Roberts' family roots are in South Carolina, Georgia, and Mississippi, but, according to Roberts, their Southern recipes have been "Texafied" over time.

"When they left that region in the 1870s, their recipes didn’t contain ingredients such as chili dulce and cayenne pepper. Those were added after they got to Texas,"he told Business Insider last June. 

There's a lot of stuff to choose from at the Salt Lick, but Roberts says there's one meal that stands out. 

salt lick austin

"Definitely the Family Style Dinner (all-you-can-eat beef brisket, sausage, pork ribs, potato salad, cole slaw and beans, for $19.95 per person), which gives you a taste of everything, followed up with peach or blackberry cobbler with ice cream, and a slice of pecan pie to go,"he said

salt lick bbq

According to the Salt Lick, a normal year will see over 750,000 pounds of brisket, 350,000 pounds of pork ribs, and 200,000 pounds of sausage smoked to perfection on their enormous open-fire pit. That's a lot of barbecue. 

Roberts released a book in December 2012 called The Salt Lick Cookbook: A Story of Land, Family, and Love, where you can read more about the Roberts family history and get some recipes to try out yourself. 

Check out the fire pit in action in this episode of Man v. Food from 2009. 

SEE ALSO: What it's like to attend the hard-partying, 40,000-person conference SXSW

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NOW WATCH: This 9-year-old makes $1 million a year opening toys

Bill Murray reveals the secret to being awesome at your job

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bill murray

Bill Murray is a living legend who's totally relaxed about being one of the greatest comedic actors in history.

Yes, he saved "Saturday Night Live" back in the day and has made some of your favorite movies, but he's also likely to crash your next birthday party.

And as he explained in a talk written up by New York Magazine, his chill approach to life and his phenomenal performances are interrelated.

"Someone told me some secrets early on about living," Murray said. "You have to remind yourself that you can do the very best you can when you're very, very relaxed. No matter what it is, no matter what your job is, the more relaxed you are, the better you are."

While it may not be the advice you'd give a day trader, it makes sense for someone as creative as Murray.

"I realized that the more fun I had, the better I did," Murray said.

It helped him commit to becoming an actor.

"I thought: Well, that's a job I can be proud of. I'd be proud to have that job, if I had to go to work and say, 'No matter what my condition or what my mood is, no matter how I feel about what's going on in my life, if I can relax myself and enjoy what I'm doing and have fun with it, then I can do my job really well,'" he said.

Murray's delight in his work is abundantly obvious in his performances, from the slapstick adventure of "Ghostbusters" to the rambunctious journey of "The Life Aquatic."

"It's changed my life, learning that," Murray said. "And it's made me better at what I do. I'm not the greatest or anything, but I really enjoy what I do."

Research seems to back up his theory. A 2013 Gallup study found that "engagement drives growth." Put simply, enjoying what you do makes you better at what you do.

SEE ALSO: Warren Buffett Shares His Best Career Advice — And It's Ridiculously Simple

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NOW WATCH: This One Habit Can Help Make You Smarter

The future of Bitcoin is China

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More than 80% of bitcoin transactions take place in Chinese yuan, according to a new research report on payments from Goldman Sachs. 

Chinese yuan trading volume has made up a majority of bitcoin exchange transactions for the last year or so. But as you can see in the chart below, yuan bitcoin transactions really spiked in mid-2013. They went from less than 10% of transactions to more than 50% in less than six months. And there's no sign that this is going to change anytime soon.  

Screen Shot 2015 03 11 at 4.05.06 PM

Interestingly, this transaction volume probably isn't coming from major Chinese merchants, who by and large don't accept bitcoin. From the GS report: 

Thus far, most merchant Bitcoin activity has been concentrated among US and European-based  merchants. Despite China’s higher trading activity, restrictions enacted by the PBoC to limit Chinese Bitcoin companies’ access to traditional Chinese payment processors have  prompted many large Chinese companies to stop accepting Bitcoin. However, in light of a somewhat stabilizing Bitcoin economy in China, a few payment processors have reemerged, such as BTC China’s JustPay.

The report also points out that credit card rewards systems are basically non-existent in China, which likely makes the market much more open to alternative payments systems.

SEE ALSO: Ex-JP Morgan superstar Blythe Masters is getting into the Bitcoin business

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See what 30 young stars from the '90s are doing today

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Mayim BIn the '90s, Mayim Bialik was a teen sensation on NBC's "Blossom."

She quietly disappeared from the limelight voicing a few cartoon characters until she joined CBS' comedy "The Big Bang Theory" in 2010.

Bialik's not the only star from the '90s working in Hollywood today.

But some former young stars have faded from ubiquity. For example, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, whose poster adorned many teenage girls' walls, keeps a low profile.

We've compiled 30 stars who were huge in the '90s to see what they're up to now.

Here's Kel Mitchell from "Kenan & Kel," the wildly popular Nickelodeon series. He faded out of the spotlight after he auditioned with Kenan for a spot on "Saturday Night Live"— and lost out.

Source: The Atlantic



Today, Mitchell maintains a low profile doing comedy shows. He's had a few bit roles co-hosting the dance competition series "Dance 360" and briefly returning to Nickelodeon on the now-canceled "Sam & Cat."

Sources: The Atlantic, IMDB, KelMitchell.net



In the '90s, Mayim Bialik was known as Blossom, a teenage girl living with her father and two brothers.



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Chelsea frustrated as Saints make a point

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Chelsea striker Diego Costa (L) heads the opening goal of the English Premier League match against Southampton at Stamford Bridge in London on March 15, 2015

London (AFP) - Diego Costa ended his seven-game drought but the Chelsea striker's 18th Premier League goal of the season was not enough to secure victory as the leaders were held to a 1-1 draw by Southampton at Stamford Bridge on Sunday.

Jose Mourinho's side were desperate to bounce back from their midweek Champions League exit against Paris Saint Germain and take advantage of Manchester City's surprise defeat against Burnley on Saturday.

But Dusan Tadic's 19th penalty cancelled out Costa's 11th minute opener and denied the Blues the chance to establish an even more commanding lead over the chasing pack.

While a point extended Chelsea's lead at the head of the table to six points, having played a game less than second-placed City, it was a disappointing end to a frustrating week for Mourinho and company.

The draw also frustrated Southampton who were unable to make bigger inroads in their efforts to force their way back into contention for a top four finish.

Mourinho had responded to the Champions League exit by rounding on his team's critics – Jamie Carragher and Graeme Souness, the former Liverpool players turned TV pundits, came in for particular attention for their comments about the Chelsea players behaviour towards the referee - and bullishly insisting his team would make up for that set-back by winning the title.

The Chelsea manager's decision to retain 10 of the starting line-up that failed to beat PSG, Willian came in for Ramires, reinforced the view that Mourinho had faith in his players' resilience.

And the opening moments of the game suggested the Portuguese's confidence was not misplaced with his side capping a bright start with a much-needed goal from Costa.

The move that led to Chelsea taking the lead offered a reminder of the qualities they have shown for much of the season with Eden Hazard exchanging passes with Costa outside the Southampton area before working the ball out to Branislav Ivanovic on the right.

Costa, meanwhile, spotted a gap in the visitors' defences and darted into the area where he met Ivanovic's well-flighted cross with a powerful header from just six yards out.

- Wounded morale -

The pain of Wednesday evening had been eased, but Southampton responded immediately, confirming they had no intention of simply playing a supporting role as Mourinho's team repaired their wounded morale.

Ronald Koeman's side had enjoyed a 12-day break since the victory over Crystal Palace that had revived their top-four challenge.

Presented with the opportunity to take his players for a mid-season break, Koeman broke with tradition, opting to head for the snow of Switzerland instead of the more traditional warm weather training trip.

The move appeared to have had the desired effect with Southampton looking sharp and refreshed as they quickly recovered and were back on level terms thanks to a contentious penalty decision.

Referee Mike Dean decided the excellent Sadio Mane was brought down after the Southampton forward found himself sandwiched between Nemanja Matic and Ivanovic.

The Chelsea players were clearly unhappy at the decision but, having being accused of surrounding referee Bjorn Kuipers and contributing to the Dutchman's decision to dismiss Zlatan Ibrahimovic on Wednesday, the reaction this time was muted.

There was another potential flashpoint shortly afterwards when Ivanovic's appeals for a penalty were dismissed, but the home side's main concern was how to stifle Koeman's side.

Morgan Schneiderlin and Victor Wanyama were dominating the midfield while Tadic and Mane repeatedly threatened Thibaut Courtois' goal.

By contrast, Chelsea appeared ponderous and were fortunate to reach half-time on level terms.

The second half brought an improvement from Mourinho's side with Costa becoming more prominent, particularly when the forward diverted Willian's shot against the upright.

The momentum of the game continued to favour Chelsea and it took two excellent saves from Saints keeper Fraser Forster to keep out a Hazard header and an Oscar shot before John Terry blazed wide in a frantic finale.

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7 things one entrepreneur learned from dropping out of college to start a multimillion-dollar hedge fund

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James Paine

When James Paine was 20 years old, he made the bold decision to drop out of college.

"All of my friends and family thought I had lost my mind," he tells Business Insider. "I told them I wanted to be an entrepreneur. I tried college but I just kept thinking to myself, 'I need to be out there, starting businesses and getting hands-on experience.' I decided sitting in a classroom wasn't for me, and I would try my hand at entrepreneurship."

Paine, a Santa Barbara, California, native, has dreamed of becoming an entrepreneur since he was just five years old.

"It was around that time that I successfully started, and ran, a business renting out my pets to the neighbors," he says. "After a successful exit, I was on to my next venture: selling candy to kids at surf camp. This is what my life was made of as a kid — not LEGOs and G.I. figurines. Business was my lifeblood, my constant preoccupation. I was constantly coming up with ideas and projects that I could use to make money."

Of course at that age, income was secondary. "I found coming up with an idea out of thin air, and using it to create solutions, to be far more exciting than anything I had ever experienced," he says.

But as a teenager, Paine was convinced that in order to be successful, he'd need to earn a college degree. "So I worked hard in school and made my way into college."

Something was missing, though. So in 2007, Paine dropped out of California Polytechnic State University and decided to get into real estate.

"I was very interested in it and liked how entrepreneurial the business was," he says. "I realized early on that it involved a lot of hard work and problem solving skills. So I got my real estate license, and then went door-to-door offering my services of buying and selling houses." 

Paine spent three years knocking on doors every day "until my knuckles bled" and by age 21, he had sold over $15 million in real estate on his own.  

"With all the information I was getting, and all that I was learning, I realized I knew more about real estate than a lot of people," he recalls. "This was the time to make a big move."

So he did.

James Paine

Paine launched West Realty Advisors in 2009 at the age of 23. "The goal was to use my knowledge of the real estate industry to provide returns to my investors," he explains. "It was my first hedge fund."

The first few years were challenging, he says. But today his company, which invests in residential redevelopment projects, is on the track to exceed $30 million in revenue. "We have bought, renovated and sold over 1,000 homes in 26 states and have employed hundreds of people," Paine says.

"I don't recommend every entrepreneur out there to drop out of college. There is nothing wrong with college and a lot of good can come from the experience, as well as the knowledge that you get there. For me, though, the decision to quit has paid off."

Here are seven key things Paine has learned from dropping out of college to start a hedge fund:

1. It's not like what you see on TV. 

"Television often portrays entrepreneurs as rich, carefree, and wild," Paine says. "This is not an accurate description. Reality is much harder to swallow."

For most entrepreneurs, struggle is constant, he explains. "They live on couches and eat Ramen noodles every day before they get successful. Sure, for those who persevere and are smart enough, success does come, but there is no instant formula for it, and the hard work simply cannot be discounted."

2. It's not all about money.

Of course making millions is a nice reward, but if you start a business with the sole purpose of making money, your chances of success will be limited, he says.

3. You have to be ready to fight.

"Every day will be a new challenge … a new obstacle," says Paine. "You have to do whatever it takes to overcome it." 

James Paine4. It's hard to take care of yourself. 

When you are in the middle of a struggling business, it's hard to take time for personal development and your health. "Accept this truth and you will be well on your way," he suggests. "This is one of the best things you can do to help overcome obstacles. It's the ultimate cheat."

Paine says he had been a surfer his entire life, but once he started my business, he nearly completely stopped. "I felt guilty every time I would surf and hangout with friends and always felt like I should be working on my business instead." For almost 3 years, he worked 80 to 100 hours per week without ever taking time off to relax and enjoy life.

"Around this time, a family member close to me died of a heart attack at a young age and they said it was caused largely due to stress. After this scare, I made it a point that no matter what happens in business, always take time for myself," he says. 

5. Plan on plans not working.

"Yes, business plans are helpful," he says, "but I don't know a single entrepreneur who has written a business plan and had it turn out exactly as they expected." Whenever you make a plan, plan for it to change.

6. Learn everything.

"I read over 50 books per year just to maintain an edge," he says. "If I read for ten hours and learn one new thing that can make me more money, it is always worth the time."

Pain recommends speaking with and learning from as many people as you possibly can. "Committing yourself to learning is the best way to guarantee success," he adds. "As my mentor taught me, focus on 'ABL' — Always Be Learning. Commit yourself to this and success will soon follow." 

7. Relationships are everything.

Focus on building long-term and mutually beneficial relationships, he advises. "While you may not need that person today, you would be very surprised how often or how badly you may need them a few years later. Making yourself the person who can connect two people makes you highly valuable." 

Of course, these aren't the only things Paine has learned; "this list could go on and on for pages," he says. "These are simply the top seven things that I wish I had known before I started on this journey."

SEE ALSO: These young entrepreneurs got a loan from billionaire Richard Branson — here's how

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NOW WATCH: Here's the anxiety even the most successful entrepreneurs deal with every day


MARK CUBAN: Forgiving $1 trillion in student debt is 'the worst thing we could do'

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mark cuban

While the closing of Sweet Briar College last week caught many people in higher education by surprise, some saw it as a sign of an inevitable college implosion.

For years, entrepreneur and billionaire investor Mark Cuban has warned of a "student-loan bubble" created by skyrocketing tuition and fueled by an endless supply of student loans.

A radical solution to the student-loan problem would be to forgive all student debt, as a viral essay by Robert Applebaum proposed six years ago.

However, Cuban thinks massive student-loan forgiveness would just make the bubble keep expanding.

"Forgiving the debt is the worst thing you can do, because all it does is bail out the universities," Cuban said.

Loan forgiveness would just show students that "Uncle Sam" will forgive their debts, according to Cuban. That would encourage students to keep taking out big loans to pay hefty tuition.

If students' debt is forgiven, he said, "you still have easy money for universities to inflate their tuition," which would cause the price of an education to increase dramatically.

On Tuesday, President Obama unveiled a new set of initiatives to help people manage their federal student loans. The plan includes stronger consumer protections, as well as a website for student complaints.

"Anything that causes lenders and service companies to act fairly is a good thing," Cuban said in a statement to Business Insider about Obama's plan. "The challenge is that you can't subsidize or forgive existing debt without very strict rules. Otherwise it allows schools to tell future students not to worry. They too will get some portion forgiven. Which in turn gives the school more leeway to raise tuition."

Skyrocketing student debt has become a big talking point for Cuban. A few years ago, he even bought the domain collegedebt.com, which publishes a live update of how much college loan debt is held by students. The total is just over $1.3 trillion.

This debt ultimately will outweigh most of the potential benefit you're getting from the college education, Cuban said.

"What you thought you were going to get in quality of life by going to that college," Cuban said, "you've just undermined with the amount of debt you're taking on."

SEE ALSO: Here's when an imploding Virginia college probably knew it was in serious trouble

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NOW WATCH: Media Investor And College Dropout Ken Lerer Explains What Makes Smart People Leave School

China just subtly told Wall Street to mind its own business

Why the CEO of an ecommerce site with 11+ million users designs for 'drunk toddlers'

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Deena Varshavskaya

It's an important product mantra that you should always "know your users."

The social e-commerce site Wanelo, popular among younger, female millennials, follows that rule, but with a twist. When designing the site's mobile and desktop experience, Wanelo's team envisions its users as a bunch of drunk toddlers. 

"You should be able to squint and find and point to the one important thing on the page," Wanelo founder Deena Varshavskaya said on stage at SXSW Saturday afternoon, miming a dramatized pointing motion. "A drunk toddler should be able to find that thing." 

Wanelo used to have a bunch of different things going on on its homepage, Varshavskaya says, and it wasn't until she basically took everything but the bare basics away that the site really started gaining traction. Now, it's homepage looks like a simple grid of popular products — very much like Pinterest, but more specifically designed to get users to make purchases, not just pretty boards. In one year — from August 2013 to August 2014 – the site swelled from 1 million to 11 million members. 

"Users don't care to read your website top-to-bottom very carefully," Varshavskaya says. "They just want to use it very lazily. That's why 'drunk toddler' is a really good filter. What would happen if you didn't have all of your mental presence to use a product? It needs to be that simple."

Wanelo

Varshavskaya launched Wanelo (which stands for want, need, love)  in 2011, and got her first outside capital the following year, after getting rejected for seed funding 40 times (to get through all the turn-downs, she and her sister would eat ice cream and drink vodka in their apartment while writing emails). The idea really took off in 2012, when Wanelo's app broke into the top ten on the App Store's free lifestyle apps list. It stayed there for almost a year, but now doesn't rank within the top 100. 

The site used to make most of its revenue through affiliate links (when users clicked through to buy a product on the website that sold it), but launched an on-site "Buy" button last fall (typically, that means a bigger revenue cut). 

SEE ALSO: How asking for 'a few million dollars' as a 21-year-old at her first job helped this woman build a $400+ million company

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NOW WATCH: This 9-year-old makes $1 million a year opening toys

The Google exec who says we're close to 'curing cancer' is seriously misinformed

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bill maris google ventures

Bill Maris, Google Ventures' managing partner and president, recently made headlines by telling Bloomberg, "If you ask me today, is it possible to live to be 500? The answer is yes."

And the main way Maris aims to achieve this lofty goal?

Curing cancer, of course.

With these goals in mind, the company has ramped up its investments in health and science companies like Foundation Medicine, which uses genetic data to create tools for diagnosing cancer.

"Twenty years ago, without genomics, you could only treat cancer with a poison,"Maris told Bloomberg. "That's really different from, 'We can cure your cancer by reverse-engineering a stem cell.' You can now legitimately invest in a company that could cure cancer."

That's a well-intentioned statement, but it's also misinformed. (We reached out to Google Ventures to ask for clarification on Maris' statement, but it declined comment.)

Cancer is different from many genetic diseases, such as sickle cell or Huntington's, in that it is not linked with a few specific, identifiable genes. Instead it is the result of a whole bunch of mutations, tens of hundreds of tiny twists and pinches in our genes. These mutations are constantly changing and evolving, becoming increasingly resistant to our drugs. And genetics, of course, is not the only cause of cancer — environmental and behavioral factors matter.

Still, we've managed to curb the incidence of many types of cancer in the past few decades, either through behavioral changes (after 50 years of anti-tobacco campaigns in the US, for example, rates of lung cancer have plummeted) or vaccines (we can prevent new cases of human papillomavirus, which causes most cervical cancer, and Hepatitis B, which causes most cases of liver cancer). President Obama's recent Precision Medicine Initiative aims to build on these efforts and treat existing cancers more efficiently.

There are even some types of cancer we can cure with surgery (in the case of some skin cancers) or a combination of several drugs and treatments (such as with some cases of Hodgkin's lymphoma or leukemia).

But there are still many types we can't.

"There will be a sizable portion of cancers we can't get rid of," Harold Varmus, director of the National Cancer Institute, said at a recent talk at Columbia University. "We're not going to eliminate cancer as a disease."

Why?

To say each cancer tumor is unique would be an understatement. "Virtually every tumor looks different from every other tumor," Varmus said. That makes designing drugs to beat them difficult. Many new treatments work only for a tiny subsection of patients, those with a specific subtype of one particular kind of cancer. These are exciting developments, but they don't begin to move the needle on treating — not to mention curing — cancer as a whole.

Plus, among the various genes involved in cancer, some are what Varmus calls "drivers," meaning they have an active role in spreading the disease throughout the body, while others are merely "passengers," meaning they make only neutral changes to the genome.

Think of trying to design a net for a species of sea creature that constantly changes its size and shape (and also sometimes decides to live on land instead of in water).

No matter how advanced your net, some monsters will still be uncatchable.

As if that weren't enough, some of the drugs used by doctors in recent decades can actually encourage the cancer to develop resistance to them. When cancer cells detect the presence of these "targeted drugs," they do everything they can to survive, often mutating into forms that can't be defeated by the drugs.

This doesn't mean doctors and scientists are not making progress. They are. Still, cancer as a whole will probably never completely disappear — and that's a reality of which we should be aware.

UP NEXT: 10 ideas that are about to revolutionize medicine

SEE ALSO: This man is the world's richest doctor — and his company could change medicine

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Scientists In Belgium Have An Exciting Idea About How To Stop Cancer From Spreading

The most brutal jokes from last night's Comedy Central roast of Justin Bieber

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Justin Bieber roast

Justin Bieber just got roasted hard.

Kevin Hart, Martha Stewart, Shaquille O’Neal, Jeffrey Ross, Hannibal Buress, Will Ferrell, and many others all took the stage Saturday night to joke about Bieber's career, love life, fans, and legal mishaps to a star-studded crowd that included Dave ChappelleJohn LegendChrissy TeigenJohn MayerJaden SmithKendall Jenner, and Kourtney Kardashian.

Kendall Jenner Kourtney Kardashian Martha StewartWhile the "Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber" doesn't air until March 30, we've rounded up the top jokes from variousreports to hold you over until then.

Kevin Hart on Justin Bieber:

Kevin Hart Justin BieberRoast master Kevin Hart began the evening by saying: "Tonight we are gonna do what parents and the legal system should have done a long time – give the boy an ass-whuppin' he deserves." 

Hart added that Bieber "has the voice and the driving skills of Stevie Wonder," and is definitely not as gangster as he acts: "Orlando Bloom took a swing at you; you have a perfume called Girlfriend; you threw eggs at a house — not gangsta."

Hart concluded with a zinger about Bieber's ex-girlfriend: "Selena Gomez couldn't be here tonight. Just because she didn't want to be here."

Shaquille O'Neal:

Justin Bieber Shaq"Justin as a father of six you have to straighten up, son. Last year, you were ranked the fifth most-hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn't rank that low. And he uses your music to torture people." 

Shaq added: "Justin is worth $200 million, and in prison, that’s worth four packs of Kool."

Comedian Hannibal Buress:

Justin Bieber Hannibal Buress"Justin, I don't like your music. I think it's bad, man. I hate your music. I hate your music more than Bill Cosby hates my comedy." 

Martha Stewart:

Justin Bieber Martha Stewart

"The only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower," she joked, referencing Bieber's 60 million Twitter followers.

Will Ferrell as "Ron Burgundy":

Will Ferrell ROn Burgundy Justin Bieber

He joked that Bieber is "a full-grown man who works and loves and makes things with his hands," adding, "He sings to 9-year-olds, and his hair is like a gay figure skater."

Comedian Jeff Ross was especially brutal:

Jeff Ross Justin BieberCalling him the "King Jofrey of pop," Ross said: "Seth Rogen thinks you're a conceited piece of shit, and he hangs out with James Franco." He didn't stop there.

"Selena Gomez wanted to be here, but she’s dating men now. Is it true you dumped her because she grew a mustache before you? Selena Gomez had sex with [you]... proving Mexicans will do the disgusting jobs Americans just won't do."

"If Anne Frank had heard your music, she would've Uber'd to Auschwitz." Yikes.

Ross ended with this nugget: "Justin, you have such a huge career behind you."

The comedians didn't only roast Justin Bieber, they were hard on each other too.

Justin Bieber Roast"Hannibal Buress is famous for exposing Cosby. He's only famous for exposing Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby hurt those women without ever caring about the consequences … that Hannibal Buress would become famous."– Pete Davidson 

"All these rappers on stage and Martha stewart has done the most jail time."– Natasha Legerro 

"Justin wants to be black so bad he's actually seen Kevin Hart's movies in theaters."– Ludacris

"Is that Kevin Hart or did Shaq take a shit?" – Jeff Ross

"Congratulations Hannibal Buress, you are only the Bill Cosby accuser making money off of him."– Snoop Dogg 

"I always encouraged people to stay classy. And what's more classy than hanging out with Floyd Mayweather."– Ron Burgundy 

"A lot of people are upset that Justin hasn't won a Grammy. There is Martha Stewart. She can be your grammy."– Jeff Ross 

"Kevin is the only celebrity with a star on the yellow brick road."– Shaquille O'Neal 

"Martha is so old, her first period was the Renaissance."– SNL's Pete Davidson 

But Bieber took it all in stride.

Justin Bieber monkeyThe 21-year-old took the stage at the end of the night and joked: "What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours." 

And then, in a serious turn, Bieber apologized for his past behavior. 

Acknowledging he "turned a lot of people off" over the years, Bieber explained, "There was no preparing me for this life. I got thrown into this at 12 years old… I lost some of my best qualities. Things I’ve done that don’t define who I am. I look forward to being someone you're proud of. Someone close to me once said how you rise from a fall is how you are truly defined as a man." 

Bieber concluded his speech by saying, "You have my word, I will not end up broken, pathetic, bitter, or sitting on someone else’s roast. I’m at a moment of change. This is a new day."

SEE ALSO: The most powerful person in Hollywood at every age

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Why Janet Yellen shouldn't be trading stocks

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Remember when Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen said that social media and biotech stocks seemed pricey during a July 2014 testimony to Congress

"...Valuation metrics in some sectors do appear substantially stretched—particularly those for smaller firms in the social media and biotechnology industries, despite a notable downturn in equity prices for such firms early in the year," she said.

On Twitter, venture capitalist Chris Dixon notes that betting against biotechs would've done terribly over the last year.

The S&P biotech ETF is up more than 50% during a period when the S&P 500 climbed just 4%.

cotd biotech yellen

 

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7 real Indian dishes you should try instead of the Westernized knockoffs

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It’s a scientific fact that Indian food tastes good, mainly thanks to the abundance of spices and flavors.

There’s also quite a variety in Indian cuisine, with dishes ranging from North to South and sometimes by kitchen to kitchen. Punjabi, Bengali, Rajasthani, Goan, Gujarati, and Maharashtrian are just the tip of the delicious iceberg.

And that doesn’t even take into account all of the Anglicized versions of classic Indian dishes, from curry to chutney.

Here are nine authentic Indian dishes you should try instead of the Western knockoffs.

Instead of chicken tikka masala, order chicken tikka 

chicken tikka indian foodAs the story goes, an Indian chef named Ali Ahmed Aslam invented chicken tikka masala dish while cooking in Scotland. The improvised mixture of yogurt, cream, spices, and tomato soup was poured over chicken after a customer complained about the meat being too dry. Wherever it originated, the dish caught on with the Western palate.

And while the sauce does add a lot to the flavor of the dish, a much more authentic meal to try would be chicken tikka, boneless chicken pieces baked on skewers after marinating in spices and yogurt (basically tandoori chicken, but without the bone).

Instead of eating naan with every meal, try making rotis instead

roti bread indian foodMost British and American eaters will only consume their Indian food with a side of naan bread. And while the naan is the same baked fluffy flatbread that is eaten in India, it’s usually only reserved for special occasions.

Roti is the bread-of-choice in India. Roti is unleavened wheat-flour bread that is thinner than naan, and can be paired with just about anything from honey and cream for breakfast to curries.

Instead of dishes made with curry powder, try using a more unique mixture of spices 

Spice selectionWhat we think of as “curry” are dishes that have been cooked with curry powder, typically with pre-mixed flavors of turmeric, ginger, chillies, and coriander, among others.

But the word “curry” was coined by the English and is an oversimplification of Indian cuisine, which uses a variety of spices (masalas) all individually added as you cook so that the mixture is much more unique and varying depending on the region and sometimes by specific kitchen. 

A few of the key spices to have on hand are turmeric powder, cumin seeds, coriander power, cinnamon, red chili or cayenne powder, cardamom, ginger, garlic, and mustard seeds. Don’t be afraid to branch out and experiment.

Instead of mango or “Major Grey’s Chutney,” try different kinds of chutneys

different chutneys lined upChutney was a favorite among the British when Imperialism was still in its heyday. The most famous was Major Grey’s Chutney with mango, vinegar, raisins, lime juice, onion, tamarind, and other spices.

But there are so many different chutneys to try, most of which are less jam-like and more runny than the Anglo-Indian counterparts. 

In Indian cuisine, chutneys can range the gamut from sweet to savory. Pineapple, coconut, olive, walnut, and fig are just some of the variants — it it’s a fruit, spice, or herb, you can make a chutney with it.

Instead of eating kedgeree, try the much more authentic khichdi

khichdi indian foodThough American readers may not be as familiar with kedgeree, it’s a type of British curried rice usually made with smoked haddock and hard-boiled eggs with some curry powder thrown in. Needless to say, it is a British version of an authentic Indian dish. 

It likely originated from khichdi, a rice and lentils dish that varies heavily by region. No matter what recipe you choose, it’s generally considered to be comfort food and makes a fantastic side. It ranges from plain (lentils, rice, and salt) to chock-full of veggies and spices.

Instead of ordering mulligatawny soup, try rasam over rice

Rasam soup indian foodSurprise, surprise — another British version of a classic Indian recipe. Mulligatawny, loosely translated as “pepper water," is made with chicken or lamb broth, vegetables, and lots of spices. 

It’s based on a sauce known as rasam that’s typically eaten with rice, though it can also be eaten as a soup. It’s usually prepared with tamarind juice, tomato, chili pepper, pepper, and cumin, though there are many different kinds of rasam to enjoy. 

Instead of the Anglicized comfort food meatball curry, order malai kofta

malai kofta indian foodMeatball curry is an Anglo-Indian comfort food classic with minced beef or chicken, coriander, chilies, potatoes and more all simmered into a delicious and easy meal.

For a more authentic and still tasty counterpart, try malai kofta. It’s a North Indian meal with fried vegetable balls and tomato-based gravy with coriander, cumin, chillies, cardamom, cream, and more. This is a good one for any vegetarians out there, too.

SEE ALSO: 8 Books That Will Make You Want To Travel To India

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5 reasons you should be excited about the 'Star Wars: Episode VIII' director

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rian johnson

Thursday, brought a lot of news for "Star Wars" fans.

The title of the first spinoff, "Rogue One," was announced along with the release date for "Star Wars: Episode VIII" (May 26, 2017).

The news brought the likely excitement from the franchise’s loyal fanbase, but let's take a second to delve into who Rian Johnson is, the director who will be taking the reigns of the original franchise after J.J. Abrams’ “Episode VII: The Force Awakens" is released in December.

If you don’t live and breath all things The Force, you probably didn't know that just under nine months ago news broke that Johnson would not only write and direct “Episode VIII” but“Episode IX” as well.

While Johnson has been quiet about the whole thing, yesterday’s announcement proved that at least half of that news was correct.

And Johnson had some fun with it on Twitter:

Soon after though, he finally fessed up:

Most fans were excited when J.J. Abrams announced he'd be directing “Episode VII,” as it confirmed that Disney was serious about bringing new voices into the "Star Wars" universe, once completely controlled by its creator George Lucas.

But the news of Johnson jumping in following Abrams brought universal acceptance.

Here's five reasons why you should be too. 

1. His debut feature was incredible

Johnson, 41, was born in Maryland but grew up in San Clemente, California and it would be that area and his love of Dashiell Hammett detective stories that would bring to life his feature length debut, “Brick.”

brickMade for only $500,000 and starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Johnson combined film noir, drugs, and the drama of high school life to create a fantastically fresh genre movie within the modern-day teen world. Gordon-Levitt gets all gumshoe and shakes things up through the different cliques of a San Clemente high school as he tries to uncover the death of his ex-girlfriend.

2. The visuals in his films are striking

Though immediately grabbing is the dialogue is completely 1930s hardboiled detective slang, the film also showed that Johnson has a unique visual eye as "Brick" is full of beautiful imagery.

brick_water2

brick_jgl2

brick_car2The film would garner Johnson instant acclaim and a “Special Jury Prize for Originality of Vision” at the 2005 Sundance Film Festival. 

3. He knows how to work with big-name talent.

Three years later, Johnson worked on a large-budgeted con movie titled “The Brothers Bloom.” The film starred Mark Ruffalo and Adrien Brody as brothers who specialize in running scams on millionaires. Up for one final job, Rachel Weisz plays the mark, but the brothers soon realize she’s got her own agenda.

brothers bloomWhile it received mixed reviews by critics, the film did prove that Johnson could work with name actors, take on multiple lush locations, and pull off action sequences.

brother_bloom

4. He's directed two of the most memorable "Breaking Bad" episodes

In 2010, Johnson once more elevated his notoriety in the industry when he began directing episodes of “Breaking Bad.” He directed three total including the polarizing “Fly” episode and the third-to-last episode of the show, “Ozymandias,” which some consider the best episode of the whole series, including series creator Vice Gilligan.

breakingbad3Once more his visual techniques shined, especially in “Fly,” which takes place mostly in Walter and Jesse’s underground meth lab in season three and includes the POV of a fly trapped in the lab.

breaking bad fly

5. The fanboys already love him

In 2012, Johnson’s cred in the sci-fi world shot through the roof with the release of “Looper.”

Messing with our heads thanks to an elaborate time travel story, we follow Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), an assassin known as a looper, who offs people at the whim of his mob bosses from the future. But when he realizes they have sent back his future self (Bruce Willis) to kill, things get complicated.

looper2With “Looper,” Johnson elevated to world building, creating a "Blade Runner"-like future.

looper_finalThe visuals, as we’ve become accustomed to in his films, are beautiful and he uses more CGI than in the past.

looperHere, he also began working with make-up, specifically getting Gordon-Levitt to look more like a young Willis. 

willis_finaljgl_finalHe likely didn't think this at the time, but the film has elements that proves he's capable of taking on "Star Wars."

With this body of work, we are pretty excited with what he’ll be bringing to “Star Wars.” We don’t know what “Episode VIII” is about yet, but we’ll keep you posted once production begins.

The film will be released May 26, 2017.

SEE ALSO: Meet Felicity Jones: The indie actress just cast in the 'Star Wars' spinoff

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Elon Musk says he's going to 'end' one of Tesla owners' biggest problems this week

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Tesla

Elon Musk has announced plans to release a software update later this week that could put an end to so-called "range anxiety."

Range anxiety is a common fear among electric car owners that their car won't be able to last until the next charge.

Drivers end up playing it safe and recharging before they hit the upper limit of their battery’s range, or simply choosing to take gas-powered cars on longer journeys instead of their beloved Teslas.

The average Tesla Model S sedan gets about 300 miles to a charge, depending on driving style and battery choice.

"To fight range anxiety, Tesla has already invested in a network of high-speed supercharger stations across the U.S., and introduced a pilot program to test the feasibility of swapping out physical batteries in just a few minutes for around the cost of a tank of gas," Darrell Etherington at TechCrunch reports.

However, it appears Musk has additional plans to combat the phenomenon which will be announced at a press conference this Thursday, March 15th.

The update could entail a number of things. For instance, it could better distribute the existing power in the Tesla Model S, or provide more accurate warning systems to quell driver concerns about existing limitations, or something else entirely. 

In January, the company released a software update that made the Tesla's top-of-the-line Model S, the P85D, significantly faster.

SEE ALSO: Mark Zuckerberg is taking extreme measures to keep his lavish new $10 million home construction private

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9 scientifically verified ways to appear more attractive

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chris pine

Attraction relies on much more than your physical appearance. 

It's in the way you carry yourself, the people you hang out with, and how you talk to people — plus a whole lot more.

Be funny.

Multiplestudiesindicate that women are more attracted to men who can make them laugh. 

In one study, a psychologist asked men to tell a joke to their friends at a bar while a woman sat at a nearby table — and the guys who told jokes were three times as likely to get her number as the people who didn't.

"The effect of a great sense of humor on women's attractions might be partially explained by the fact that funny people are considered to be more social and more intelligent, things that women seek in a mate,"anthropologist Gil Greengross writes.



Surround yourself with friends.

A 2014 study from the University of California at San Diego found that people looked better when they were in a group. 

It's because our brains take the faces of a group of people in aggregate, making each face look more "average"— and attractive — as a result. 

"Having a few wingmen or wingwomen may indeed be a good dating strategy, particularly if their facial features complement and average out one's unattractive idiosyncrasies," authors Drew Walker and Edward Vul write.



Skip the small talk.

In a 1997 studyState University of New York psychologist Arthur Aron separated two groups of people and paired them off, giving each duo 45 minutes to answer a set of questions. 

One question set was small talk, and the other was increasingly probing. The people who asked deeper questions felt more connected — and one couple fell in love.

According to Harvard research, talking about yourself stimulates the same brain regions as sex or a good meal. 

"Activation of this system when discussing the self suggests that self-disclosure ... may be inherently pleasurable," Scientific American reports



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France beat Italy 29-0 in Six Nations

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France's fly-half Camille Lopez (C) escapes from Italy's Sergio Parisse during the Six Nations international rugby union match on March 15, 2015 at the Olympic Stadium in Rome

Rome (AFP) - France blanked Italy 29-0 in a Six Nations match at Rome's Stadio Olimpico for their second victory of this season's championship.

Three first-half penalties from Camille Lopez (2) and Scott Spedding handed the French a 9-0 lead at half-time.

Lock Yoann Maestri crossed for his first ever try in the second period, converted by replacement fly-half Jules Plisson who also added two penalites of his own against a toothless Italian side lacking any real attacking clout.

Centre Mathieu Bastareaud crashed over for a late try also converted by Plisson to rub salt into Italy's wounds.

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The US dollar is exploding at a probably unprecedented rate

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Steven Englander

Citi global head of G10 foreign exchange Steven Englander blasted out an email on Friday observing that the current rise in the value of the dollar has come about at a faster rate than at any point since the modern system of currency exchanges came to be, and that the dollar's meteoric strengthening may still continue. From Englander's email:

"The recent combination of USD gains driven by the efficiency of ECB QE in depreciating the EUR and linked currencies and increasing anticipation of Fed normalization has led to an almost 4% appreciation over the last 12 trading days, which may be viewed as too much of a good thing both at the ECB and the Fed."

To illustrate the historic nature of the dollar's recent rise, Englander included this chart, showing the percent change in the dollar's trade-weighted exchange rate over the last 175 trading days going back to the mid-seventies. The rate at which the dollar has been strengthening is higher than at any other point:

dollar

SEE ALSO: RANKED: The 50 US state economies from worst to best

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